Home Educating the Puddle Girls…

… the minute i say i’m laying off education AND guilt for a few weeks, they all go and get industrious, which is great, though it makes me feel simultaneous irrelevant AND out of touch

Fran has finally (i think this really IS finally) learned the art of reading for pleasure and knowledge. Her reading ability has leapt forwards, she pronounces and understands a whole new level of words now, well enough that i don’t feel any inclination to do a reading age test on her anyway In the last week or so, she’s devoured several Usborne books on “stuff” (her words, i declined to delve since she was being secretive), the Time Traveller book, a pile of mini encyclopedias and several of the Lemony Snicket books, which she professes to understand (which could mean anything, i’m not sure i understood them!) She’s rarely got her nose out of a book, and when she has it’s only because she’s unside down. I doubt it’ll be long before i see her cartwheeling and reading simultaneously

Maddy is seeming at a loose end but she’s doing loads of crafts and lots of geomags, playing in the garden and “looking at books” - not reading, obviously She’s back into her guitar and practises a fair bit and has been doing a good bit of drawing.

Amelie has gone letter-mental. SHe writes, spells, sounds out and reads all the time and with anyone who’ll do it with her. She collared Alison for a fair bit of time one day, spends an hour or so most days getting me to write stuff for her to copy and spots words she knows all the time. It’s lovely -she has great writing too, really small and neat. She loves the alphabet and got HUGELY annoyed when she realised the letters on the back of a prescription were not in order. She spends ages spelling things out with scrabble tiles and so on. She’s very into her maths books too and does “sums” whenever she can; adding and subtracting up to about 15 doesn’t seem to be a problem at all and she can count to 100. I know Fran couldn’t do that at her age, because i remember having a conversation with Gwenny about it at the first Kessie camp! She’s spending a lot of time processing Grans’s death at the moment; the other day she suddenly said that hse felt sad that Aunty Sue was the only person left in her family now. When Max and i said she wasn’t, she has all of us and her own children, Amelie pointed out that Sue no longer had her parents or her sister and that that must make her very sad. I think we both felt rather mortified that neither of us had really computed that fact at all

Josie is Josie; she’s more or less sorted out her colours out, likes counting, drawing, “writing” and looking at books. Current favourite is filling boards with midi hama beads and geomags. She challenged Alison and i to make a geomag dalek and was extremely exacting about the design. Several models had to be offered up before she was finally satisfied (and then i wouldn’t let her play with it!) She wormed her way pretty thoroughly into the Amelie/Buttercup lovenest and adores Ernest ernestly Sadly, she’s become clearly more andm ore affected by milk in her diet since giving up breastmilk. The eczema on her arms is dreadful this week and she has awful panda eyes and dry skin on her face; she’s also craving cheese, not a good sign at all. Yesterday’s trip to the doctor concluded that we needed to take it out of her diet but it’s going to be harder than with Amelie, she’s very angry about it and today she sneaked 1/4lb of cheese out of the fridge and up to her room

So, last week ended with a visit from the Portico…

Playing chess with Ernest. (Fran beat Ernest, Gwenny beat Fran)

Much Doctor Who was watched, VERY late nights but all mostly without bothering me and Alison, a fair bit of Gamecube and DS, gamecubing probably heralding one of 2 of the most outstanding Amelie/Buttercup fights i’ve ever seen (the other following outside shortly afterwards over a cardboard box… i think they were a ‘little’ tired ) and generally a lovely time was had. They do seem to be 8 exceptionally compatible children, all told. This time Fran and Gwenny seemed to really pal up and Maddy and Ernest but it never seems like anyone is left out. It was all just lovely.

Maddy wants to make domino runs when she grows up

Just before they left, i dropped some boxes on the power switch of the computer; it went off, refused to come back on and when i finally did coax it back to life, it reformatted the entire drive and lost everything on it. Pah. Talk about being over-sensitive, i didn’t even swear at it. So poor Max spent saturday redoing my company accounts while we went to CASTLE DAY!

Too many nice things to talk about, but possibly my favourite ever party. Thoroughly enjoyed the unexpected (to me) attendednce of FROOP and SOD

and got to spend copious amounts of time with a variety of people, but mainly Nic and Em. Nic let me photograph her cleavage…

…but i like this photo better…

…and Em showed us her bum.

Tim was a bit of a chopper

(cheap shot but so worth it )

FROOP appears to have a Rapunzel complex…

Em took a half decent photo of me

(try to remain calm)

Ady taught me bits of my new camera (such a nice man!)

Maddy was lovely; at least i assume she was, i barely saw her all day.

Fran stopped looking little (again).

And Josie was cute too.

More later… just so you don’t get overwhelmed

My Geomag Dalek and Maddy’s Hama Bead TARDIS.

… but we didn’t let her read the manual first.

It’s only right to try it out before we even get out of bed

I think i’ve got a lot to learn but we had such a nice morning of people posing, that posting the results was irresistable.

Looking back over the last few days through photograph albums that Gran kept reminds me of what a long life she enjoyed and my time with her was relatively short.

It’s hard for me to imagine what she was like as a child, as a teenager or as a young adult or how the devastating backdrop of the war must have shaped her outlook on life as she raised her family and saw her children grow up.

My memories of Gran begin when she would have been approaching her sixties, having recently separated from my Grandad and set off on a new direction in her life. It was at this time that we moved down to Devon to live with her at Higher Langdon farm, where Joe and I enjoyed for a while an idyllic childhood.

My memories of Gran at this time are of a powerfully independent and active lady who had fashioned the life that she wanted and was enjoying the sense of freedom that she had achieved. I remember how proud I felt that my Gran was such a dynamic character – she always seemed so resourceful, so energetic and to an 8 year old boy the fact that she rode a motor bike elevated her to a whole different level.

There was another, more tender side to Gran. I remember from this time that Joe and I would often go in to see her in the mornings at the weekend before she had got up and she would talk to us while drinking her morning cup of tea from her teasmaid machine. I can still picture some of her treasured possessions: her childhood teddy bear, the china Siamese cat that sit today in the window of her house, a miniature guitar, a photograph of Michelle and Louise taken at nursery or primary school. I was reminded of this last photo by a picture of Frances and Maddy from a few years back.

After mum’s death everything changed. It seemed to me that it took the wind out of Gran’s sails. She mellowed, Dad always said. Gran moved to her bungalow in Thorn and we moved to Exeter. During this time Joe and I would go out and stay with Gran for weekends or weeks in the summer. Thorn was always like a bridge to the past where we had peace and quiet and wide open fields to play in all day long.

I think it must have been around this time that Gran took up walking and would be found most weekends trekking around Dartmoor with Harry Starkey and his group of ramblers. Joe and I began going out on these treks with Gran and I remember at first how I disliked them and how Gran would berate me for dragging behind and whining. I remember the early starts, meeting up with a load of old folks in some car park on the moor, more often than not in the rain, mist or drizzle. Walking along, 20 of us stretched out in a line with half a dozen dogs and Harry at the front explaining the history of, standing stones, tram lines and peat bogs. Cowering behind rocks at lunch, a round of sandwiches wrapped in tin foil, a two-fingered kit-kat and an apple. Being sent to scramble over rocks looking for letterboxes.

At the time I secretly thought that Gran fancied Harry and that’s why we went, but after a time I came to love these walks across the moor and this was to grow into a passion that brought me closer to Gran and that I still have today. As I grew up and moved away I would continue to go and spend a week every now and then with Gran. The bungalow at Thorn remained a retreat where I could stay and recharge my batteries with the peace and quiet and the opportunity to walk.

Gran’s philosophy was always that her home was at your disposal to use as a base camp. When I stayed it never felt as if we were obliged to spend our time in each other’s company. I’m not sure whether this was because Gran instinctively knew that I often needed space or because we were both naturally alike in that sense – I believe it was the latter. During this time, sometimes we would walk together – perhaps around Fernworthy reservoir or up to Kestor or across to Batworthy corner.

Other times I would go out for longer walks on my own and when I got back we would sit out on her veranda in the evening and talk about where I had been, how dry the moor was or how well the paths were marked. She would show me the routes that she had taken years before all drawn out on her own maps. Gran always inspired a sense of adventure in me.

Some years later Merry and I would stay with Gran for a week in the summer. The routine was as ever – make yourself at home, use the house as a base camp. I remember once that we went out for a 3-day trek with the tent and on the first night the weather turned bad on us. We spent the night huddled under some rocks in a thunderstorm and next day picked our way back across the moor in drizzle and a blanket fog. When we got back to Gran’s we were soaked through. I remember Gran was genuinely surprised that we had given up and turned back. She was like that – she had such determination and such strong resolve. The thought of being put off by the weather was just not in her character.

Gran was never the most sociable of people. I don’t think she was unfriendly, I just think that she needed to live her life on her own terms. For companionship she would look towards animals. I can’t image the number of cats that she has given a home to over the time that I have known her.

I think at the end of the day Gran always found solace in the beauty of the natural world. She loved Dartmoor and her heart and spirit will remain here always. She loved the wild and unspoilt landscape, the clear night skies and the abundance of wildlife that she could watch from her veranda. She loved to have space to fill with animals that she would take in, usually the waifs and strays that had been made homeless through old age or neglect.

I suppose now when I look back I see some of those characteristics that defined Gran in myself and in my children and in our family.

Writing these words has given me the opportunity to spend a day thinking about how important Gran has been in my life and what a remarkable lady she was. After the last few months it has been a great comfort to share these memories.

Last week has passed in a definite blur. Let’s think….

Educationally things mainly seem to revolve around art, Singapore maths and independant reading at the moment, with a large side order of Doctor Who and Swallows and Amazons. Doctor Who brings on lots of interesting conversations, both scientific and moral, nevermind a bit of history. They’re all a bit obsessed just now but they’ve enjoyed having series 1 to watch as last week was definitely a bit distracted, to say the least.

Not sure there is much to say about the week other than that we spent a lovely 2 days in the oasis-in-the-nick-of-time like home of Claire and Charlie; much playing, bouncing and the like. Poor MF got stuck with our internet connection changing and then not reappearing, so now i have internet but no wireless and have no idea how to fix that. I’ve had to use the talktalk modem to get it going and it isn’t a wireless one; i’m sure i ought to be able to get the linksys one to pick it up and broadcast it, but i think i need a man to do it for me Max is no damn good at that stuff, i always get left with it and frankly, i don’t get it.

The particular highlight of thursday evening was the clutch going in the car just as we got to the roundabout outside town; i did the last 4 roundabouts without changing gear I think i managed to change once, but it just got worse and worse, really suddenly, and the last little bit i was just praying not to have to stop and that it wouldn’t all seize up. It quite literally died on the drive and the person who has it at the moment, said the clutch had completely collapsed, whatever that means.

Having a car that took 6 people was something of an essential for getting us all to Devon for a funeral and there were none to be had to hire, for love or money. Eventually we had to get a smaller one and then Fran and i went down with MF, but it was a pain as we all felt a need to be together. That said, it was lovely to have non work time with MF and get to know each other better.

The funeral went very well; we took all the girls in the end, which hadn’t been my intention but Max decided to speak at the funeral and i wanted to be there to support him. It was typical summer Dartmoor weather (utterly pissing it down) so my plan of taking them to the park and avoiding the funeral altogether (i blooming hate them, i’ve just been to altogether too many for my liking and they give me the willies) was no good anyway. In fact, all the girls seemed glad to have gone and did very well and Max did a fantastic speech and really made the service something very lovely. I was incredibly proud of him. I’m going to paste his words into a blog post, i have his permission, so that they are always there for the girls. I’d planned to do one too, but his is so good, i don’t think i will now!

Today the kids have just run their legs off in the garden and played games all day while i wrestled with the house, garage, stock room and so on. We all needed a chillout day. In fact, i have no plans for anything significant for a few weeks now, i need to have some guilt free time just enjoying them and not worrying about educating them, they need some fresh air if it happens to be summer at any point and we have quite a bit planned. Must try to blog more often though.

Some good, some not so good.

Thursday we went to the park; this shouldn’t be a big deal, but over the last year i’ve found it really hard to go out of the house without adult backup. This is as pathetic as it sounds, it comes down entirely to the fact that i need total distraction from the world around me and only adults seem to be good enough at it, my children having a tendency to run off and abandon me, or be so annoying that i want to run away from them However, on this occasion, once we were out, it all went swimmingly. Swimmingly if you ignore the fact that both Amelie and Josie headbutted a swing within 10 minutes of arriving. Did a bit of park, discussed Swallows and Amazons (you know, you just can’t get it on audiobook, i’m going to have to READ it!), talked about the various birds, bird flu, bird poo, bird migration, sailing, who the Amazons were and that they didn’t start a book shop etc etc Then went to our favourite running around bit, which is a marked out site of a Roman Villa thing. Found it covered with geese and decided our bird affections didn’t extend to accommodating them, so told the kids to run at them and herd them away. Lots of fun. We kept Amelie on a lead, so it doesn’t count as worrying the wildlife

Took kids to Brownie party.

****Inserts break for people to zip to bottom and insert first comment****

Friday we got up frighteningly early and WEREN’T late for the eo trip to Sacrewell Farm, a not very farmy but perfectly pleasant excuse for a local attraction. Started off with activities in the education room (wool pom poms, butter making, chick in egg craft) and tried to reamin calm as Maddy gathered together a selection of i think 6 boys, who all gathered about her while she held court for about 45 minutes, looking like she was Audrey Hepburn at the very least. One, B, who she has taken an extreme liking to, was all but laying his head in her lap If Max had been there, i susepct he’d have got his shotgun out. Fran looked a bit put out at the wrestling away of the affections of J, he she likes but had no eyes for her at all that day. Ooops. Had a lovely time with Michelle and Chloe (i am now her offical Back Up Mum, or BUM for short) and trotted round the farm. I was much more sympathetic than Michelle about Chloe’s reaction to a trapped swallow, so won approved BUM status from my new SOD (Side Order Daughter) and less enthusiam from the long suffering FROOPWSPM (Fast Running Out Of Patience With Stupid Phobias Mum). Played Pooh sticks for a while, retreated into the bakery and house for some educational play, a look at the Evacuee display (sob, wail, gulp) and then back out for a game of “Fran Boats” which involved weaving boats from natural supplies to launch. Fran’s was ace, but it got stuck on the reeds. Michelle has, and has kindly not posted, photographic evidence of me being a G.O.O.D M.O.T.H.E.R and lying face down on the bridge freeing it with a long stick. It floated, survived the rapids. Fran was happy, i engaged. Must do it more often. Michelle, please get a Flickr account, those photos are lovely and i want to bookmark them. Please, for me????? PBPNM (Pathetic Begging Photo Needy Mum)
Josie got hysterical with tiredness so we came home, unpacked boxes of Hama bead Pigs and the big ones went dancing. Then they came home, built a cardboard island and played as if they had known each other for years, not 6 months. Eventual wailing when we tore them apart at 8.30. I had to go and take parcels to the sorting office, thanks to postal strike. Not that i’m bitter.

Saturday was…. tidying, lovely afternoon in the garden planting out stuff and weeding, rabbit grooming. Fran went dancing, Max went to the tip. Anna the hairdresser came and cut everones hair, french plaited the older two and cooed over Josie. Gave me a counselling session that was actually extremely good for me and meant i came up with A PLAN for the immediate future and hopefully some sort of recovery. The girls practised their exam pieces, pranced around in character shoes. I got terribly over excited when the BM site took £2k in a week for the first time this year.
Sunday  we woke up to the news that Great Gran, Max’s mother’s mother, had died overnight. She’s had stage 4 lung cancer for the last 4 months and life had become intolerable for her and for the people watching it happen. It’s been a visible strain on at least 3 people, Max, MF and Aunty Sue, that i care about, for all that time. I didn’t go to see her while she was ill, there didn’t seem much point really and it was better that Max snatched all those opportunities. I’m awfully glad to have been spared seeing how that goes, if i’m honest. All round, it’s good that it is over and hard to be sad exactly. That sounds awful.

Once we’d digested the news, we told the girls, who we really hadn’t given much indication about it all, tbh. They knew she was ill and very old and wasn’t going to be alive much longer but they wren’t particularly close to her so dragging it out seemed pointless. The older two were mostly sad for Max i think, Amelie immediately wailed and sobbed that it meant she’s never see GG again. Dispassionately, i was quite impressed by how clearly she grasped that, i thought death was supposed to be a difficult concept!! Frankly, *I* struggle with that side of it.

Tidied up, had lunch and then went out to LF’s first birthday party. Girls had a lovely time with a gaggle of babies and toddlers and 2 dogs. Both dog owners said the kids would get bored of stick throwing before the dogs… but no. My litter of bouncy puppies out-ran the dogs, who ended up crawling off in exhaustion.
Chatted to the parents of a 6 month old for a while who do Gina Ford (!) and think i’m super mum. If only they knew how much i’m not. Felt distinctly old and wizened.

Came home, made tea, finished wrestling with house, did press hama beads with Josie (major hit, the little jewellery ones are perfect for her) and then watched something on Britain with Max. Have done a lot of talking. Will be doing a lot more.

Now, this looks like a proper animal.

Hama Bead Press System at BeadMerrily

4 years it’s taken me to get them to let me have this

… i will never, never, never remember it all… ooooh, ooh, ooh, oooooh……

A week. No chance.

Right. Last Wednesday was our Wedding Anniversary, our 9th and certainly the toughest year we’ve done. Kate came and babysat, did french plaiting and read stories and Max and i had a couple of hours out. Must do it more often.

Thursday i have absolutely no memory of. This is always particularly bad becasue it means i might offend someone who might have been here, or at who’s house i might have been. Should i go back and look at past Twitters to see? Ah yes. Went out to TRUseless and got conned into buying the children things, though technically it was back payments of pocket money. Fran bought Animal Safari stuff. No, that was Wednesday. Oh well, no idea then. We’ve done maths, ETC, EC and a bit of reading every day, it all blurs into one after a while. I do remember having a lovely little while with Amelie while the others were at Brownies, watching Wallace and Grommit making-of dvd bits.

Friday i think we did all the easy activities on Islam and the Crusades out of SOTW, which was mainly rereading, maps and colouring, plus a bit of googling and then a frantic hustle to find ballet stuff, a dash over to see some storage for BM, a brief chat with the Beans and then ballet etc.

Saturday Max began a dinosaur project with the girls then lost interest when they wouldn’t do it his way. There is an art to HE and it takes practise I waded in a bit and Amelie learned some stuff while the others drew and played. Lots of gamecubing and stuff.

Sunday we went over to Belton House intending to just play in the playground but it was flooded. Instead we went round the house, found the Sundial used as the Moondial and then did lots of playing in bushes. Well, the girls and Max did, i flopped. Very, very lovely day though. Forgot camera and haven’t unloaded phone yet but girls had such fun and also enjoyed the house, loved looking at the art and dressed up in Victorian clothes. The woman running the kids discovery room was NOT well suited to the task!!!! Got complimented on the kids being lovely and very interested by the warden of one room and had a great time inspecting the paintng in one room and hunting for alteration made in one picture which meant that from a certain angle you could see a hidden figure behind the paint, with Maddy. We also spent about an hour in their Wildlife Discovery Room, which was kind of quaint but lovely.

Had completely awful moment when i lost Josie and wasn’t even the first to notice. Not quite sure how it happened or how long for, but Max went to the toilet and she must have followed him, somehow managing to do that after i’d clocked that i’d got her. I was looking for something, getting annoyed with 2 boys throwing a tennis ball across a courtyard full of people trying to cross it and not holding her hand, thinking she’s be by my leg as she always is. Suddenly Fran said “Where’s Josie?” and we looked round to see her absolutely nowhere
We found her within a minute probably, though not before my heart had sunk and i’d started quickly scanning the area for the sight of anyone making a hurried exit with a bundle of child She’s managed to walk down the path where the toilets were, so undoubtedly following Max and then carried on passed the gents and was howling her head off behind some stables with a couple of women watching her worriedly. They saw us hunting and called us, thankfully. Complete nightmare moments, very long seconds indeed and made me feel awful. I’ve got no idea HOW i managed to lose her. It hasn’t particularly happened before. I’ve had a “Maddy wanders off at HESFES when only 3″ moment, which was a bit scary and a few times various people have been gone a bit too long for comfort, or gone off on a perfectly reasonable errand but without letting me know or thinking it through, but i’ve never actually managed to negligently lose one before.

She was awful upset

Other good things were Amelie reading P&J 1a and 1b (for the first time) to Max perfectly. Not only that but today she picked up a book from the shelf, a little early reader called Bunny and Bee, and read the first 2 pages to me. I think she’s learning to read. Entertainingly, he main motivation is apparently that she wants to be a better reader than Maddy

Monday was a busy morning and then i had a babysitter all afternoon while i spent 4 hours (and £210+VAT) with a business advisor and mentor. He’s great, i’ve already implemented lots of the things we worked on and it will be good for BM. Utter kick in the guts in another way, a main supplier is about to do something which will affect my sales in a big way, but i’ll just have to get on with it i guess. Did give the MD 45 minutes of tongue pie over it though!

Went out to business club meeting in the evening and came home to find a bowl of hand picked garden pot pourri from Josie by my bed, with a beautifully written letter that sh’ed dicated to Fran. Made me cry

Tuesday no idea in the morning but in the afternoon i took them out for a couple of hours to Notcutts, where they played and i spent a fortune on plants and narrowly avoided buying another rabbit. Locked myself out of the house! Max took kids out for tea but Maddy came home with very upset tummy, leading to no trip to Claire’s today

Wednesday Max got storming cold so stayed in bed and we did odds and sods and then did Bindeez and Aqua Beads all afternoon. Fran created a road sign set, Maddy made a tardis and a double sided penguin and we all had fun, interspersed with vileness because people are over tired and ill. Snot, coughs and bad tempers everywhere. Listened to Narnia. Watched Fran practise back flips. She can now run into a handstand, flip over, land on her feet and do anotherone, all self taught. I really have no idea where she gets it from. Maybe it’s my sister?