You may Wonder.

I have a friend, who I have never met and who I share only a few things in common with, called Johnny Daukes. I’m not even sure how we came to be Facebook friends if I’m honest, perhaps through home educating. When Freddie died he was one of the people who checked up on me from time to time, answered sad status messages, read my blog posts. And last year I had a phone call from him; the call was to let me know he had written a short film and it had, in part, been drawn from the experience Max and I had gone through of losing our child. He invited me to screenings in London and sent me a private link to see it, but I was too afraid to watch. But I was incredibly honoured to have influenced a film, especially when he told me the actors playing the part of the babies parents had read my words to help them with their characters.

Well, now the film, Wonder, is available to watch online, all 26 minutes of it. Tonight I did watch it. It is beautiful.


If you click on the image it will take you to the film. It’s well worth a watch; beautiful, captivating, moving and raw. And the thread of the grief ridden parents is an understated masterpiece; the carrying on, the silences, the being strong, the pantomime that life becomes.

Wonder is beautiful. Johnny, I am enormously proud to have had a tiny part in it. Thank you.

This film is probably the only thing that will ever carry Freddie’s name, since he appears in the credits as a dedication. I can’t tell you what that means to me. But I know that you know, because you wrote it into the ‘being brave’ face of that baby lost mother. You get it.

  5 comments for “You may Wonder.

  1. March 20, 2013 at 8:14 am

    I will watch later today. I smiled a huge tearful smile when I read that beautiful freddie appears in the credits, that is so wonderful. So much love to you Merry as always. x

  2. Liz
    March 20, 2013 at 8:35 am

    Clicking the image isn’t working for me – I’ll pop back later on and check again though x
    Sounds like a beautiful thing for Freddie to be a part of x

  3. March 20, 2013 at 9:36 am

    Merry, you’re writing following Freddie’s death was extraordinary and brave. Here’s a link to the film:

  4. Rosemary
    March 20, 2013 at 3:11 pm

    That dedication is so moving.

  5. March 20, 2013 at 6:37 pm

    Just watched, yes the dedication had me in tears. x

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