Why I'm quiet.

There are all sorts of reasons.

One is I’m spending my evenings listening to the Wee Free Men books while making this.

Loving making this.

Another is I’ve been making these.

Experimenting with some coaster designs for a maybe etsy moment.
Because I really want to get back to selling handmade things this year and I have masses of plans and not much time.

Then there is crawling around on the floor playing with Bene. Lots of that. It’s important.
Japana!!! This is a gymnast in the making!

Teaching Amelie to do this.
Amelie's first patchwork cushion.

Spending more time doing this.

My fragmented family spent time together in it’s sadly constituent parts this year (except me and my sister who didn’t manage to but I did see 2 of my nieces). My brother and lovely E came over from Australia.
Brother and future sister in law, imported direct from Oz 11:365
And my dad visited from Egypt while my mum popped in to watch the panto and spend an evening. I do hate having a broken family :( And a broken family on 3 continents sucks.

We made the most of Fran’s holiday time with us and built dens to play in. Bene LOVED that.
12:365 Den!!!

I crocheted more.
14:365 birthday money basket. I think I must be nearly 40.

The snow was brilliant.
Maddy, there is stuff.... Everywhere!

In 12 days time, he will be a year old. How can that even be?

And the other reason I’m quiet is that I’m building a new shop and rebuilding one of our others. So if you follow me on Instagram, you’ll see more of what we are up to and some lovely new stock updates like these.

Pom pom maker yarn. Bit excited.

There may be trouble ahead.... #newstock

From this, my friends, we can deduce I have to sell every craft product I use;)

And cuteness like this.
Officially in the next size of baby gro. He poked a toe through the last ones. Now he's given up permafeeding, he's dropped a size behind again but I think he looks a decent chunk.

Just before Xmas I started taking antidepressants again. I think they blank me out a bit really, make me less of a communicator, though they’ve helped with the anxiety. But I’ve struggled to write what I feel recently. A combination of an email and a thread on a forum I read have made me struggle. One felt like it criticised me for grieving too much and another seemed to criticise me for being someone, one of a group of people, who don’t only run a grief blog, who have more in their life that grief and shrines and who try to move on. One silenced me and the other made me feel too silent. I probably have more to say on that.

But, you know, life is good. It’s just mostly in pictures at the moment.

Oh and crafts – we’ve done lots of nice crafts.

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  1. sarah says

    am liking the look of those buttons – last supposed mixed colours I bought for the children to do crafting turned out mostly brown and white so are generally reserved for little one to scatted in piles over the carpet!

    Wishing I had inspiration as to what to do with all that lovely stuff. I’m good at doing projects but coming up with the ideas – no so good.

    New shop sounds very exciting. You really are amazing :)

  2. says

    Try to ignore the criticisms, they cancel each other out anyway. Sounds like a case of people having too much time on their hands. I haven’t been around much either recently, but been thinking of you and hoping you’re okay. Lovely lovely pictures. You gotta love a boy in a bear suit 😉

  3. Hazel Edmunds says

    And if you feel as though you would like to communicate with people who do NOT judge at all (at least most of the rest of us sit on people who even appear to be trying to) then there is The Elephant in the Room with whom you connect as a person on Facebook (actually it’s run by Mind and is a wonderful place for sharing those blue moments and getting loads of love and hugs back).

  4. Cara says

    Well no wonder are you are quiet, you are doing so many things. I always feel like there are so many things I want to do and now time and I’m not homeschooling any one.
    For what it’s worth, it never occurred to me that she was referring to you. Your blog has always had many facets and while you may have found new readers after Freddie died, you didn’t build your blog on your son’s death.
    I’m sorry that you felt you had to go back on the meds, but glad that they are helping.
    Can’t wait to see the new store and I wish that it made sense for me to be able to order all that gorgeous stuff from you.

  5. says

    Merry you know better than to doubt yourself. How you write and talk is completely up to you, your memory to Freddie and your love for all your children shines through.
    Stay happy my darling,
    And start frigging blogging again, I miss you x

  6. says

    Oh Merry I want to come and live in your life of crafts all those pictures of ribbons and wool and oh it just looks amazing! Sending massive love as always xx

  7. Katherine H says

    I now feel after many years brave enough to contribute to your blog! I was one of your early customers when my children were young Hama addicts and as a childmimder ever since, the Hama addiction has continued and I have recommended your business to dozens of people over the years. I have enjoyed dipping into your blog and cried like everyone else over Freddie especially as I too suffered the loss of 2 sons with congenital heart disease. I too have benefitted from the help of anti-depressants from time to time and was accused by one doctor of having a protracted grief reaction! Time moves on though and it feels like everything has almost done a full circle now. I discovered that one of my friends (Hannah F) started mentioning you on her blog some 10 years after I first discovered you!! weird coincidence. My own children are now grown up and I have my first grandchild called Freddie! I hope that you pick up soon, spring is on its way x

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