Six years ago we bought a brand new house and, leaving aside it not being in Devon, it is utterly perfect for us. The 7 of us can fit, socialise, play and live quite happily. If it were not for the kitchen, it would be perfect.
The kitchen lets it down. It is quite (not at all) literally, the size of a matchbox and it has worktop space roughly the size of a pin head. A quick measure up reveals significantly less the 2sqm of worktop in fact, most of which is tucked back into two almost useless corners. No more than 1 person can work in it, and even tidied, there is just no room to cook or prepare properly.
The annoying thing is that it isn’t a particularly small room, just REALLY badly planned. When housing companies plan building, they want to be able to list lots of rooms, so our perfectly decent kitchen got carved into ‘kitchen’ and ‘utility area’ with a totally pointless arch in between, using up half the space. Half of one side has an utterly unnecessary second sink; they are so close together you can almost wash one hand in each simultaneously and the whole of the rest of the kitchen is planned around these two basic failing. Or not planned around them, might be a better description. Add to that the fact it was cheaply put in and the doors are falling off and none of the walls can be used for spice racks or shelves (too thin, too plasterboard) and the hob is fgiving up the ghost and you’ve got a large family practically existing on camping levels of kitchen comfort.
It’s not good. It’s so not good we even made a video to show you around it. We had marvellous editing plans with this, but iMovie is stuck on permanent ‘can’t update’ loop so we can’t. To be honest, you’d really have to love us/pity us to watch it all the way through. (And I’m going to have to add it later as my internet connection is powered by diplodocuses…(diplodoci?) We made it. And it is the best video ever!
And then, lest you did not get the full horror, we even did a few photos.
Maddy’s an innovative girl, so she drew a plan of what SHE would like our kitchen to be like.
I admire her spirit, I’m just not sure where to get that sort of technology from.
If I could start from scratch and make my own perfect kitchen, it might be something like this:-
Source: google.co.uk via Merrily on Pinterest
But with storage like this:-
Source: google.co.uk via Merrily on Pinterest
And a hefty dose of inspiration:-
Click on this picture to go to my perfect kitchen Pinterest board. Not that I’m obsessing. Or anything. Much.
Maybe we could end up with something that would be a happy place to cook and wash & bake and be.
I’d take out the arch and I’d paint up some colour and pull out the cupboards and lay down a floor… and I’d hunt out clever storage and put worktop all round the room so that it was one great BIIIIIG room with only one sink and a tumble dryer at ground level where it should be. (Where would the coats go? Who needs coats!??!?!?) We might even fit an integral bin prepared to give up the rubbish without a fight each time it needed emptying.
Breathe…. then I’d bung up some tiles in a perfectly planned random pattern and buy accessories that were quirky but practical and stacked inside each other… and I’d hang hooks and put up cupboards that were low enough for me to reach and where someone had THOUGHT what might be useful before putting them on the walls. And I’d buy herbs, stacking wash baskets… a pot full of co-ordinated utensils….
I might even cook. But I’d get someone from RatedPeople to do it all for me. Because if there is one thing I’m worse at than cooking, it’s DIY 
i feel your pain, my kitchen is miniscule too, in fact there’s quite a lot that i’d have designed differently if i’d have been in charge. it’s a good job i’m not ‘into’ cooking that much.
OMD ~ that is one crazy kitchen!! Hope you win!
My kitchen does not have even one drawer how mad is that!!!!
Soerry forgot to say Good Luck!
Kitchen is a deal breaker for me when buying a house. No matter how great the rest if the house, since I am doomed to spend most of my home life in there it has to be a decent size that other people can be in, sit at a table and eat, chat, do homework etc.
Surprised that in a house as big as yours, this is what you are offered! Amazing you have lasted so long without getting an extension done.
Am missing my old kitchen, which was an appalling ikea cheap job but got ripped out and a lovely local carpenter rebuilt for us exactly how I wanted it. Current kitchen is ok – looks good but is completely impractical – but am itching to get it ripped out and rebuilt to a more functional design with the lovely granite tops back rather than the horrid ones I currently have.
Good luck with whatever this competition is for .
Probably should qualify (before I get shot), it wasn’t the being from ikea bit that was a problem with the horrid kitchen but rather it was very cheaply made, poorly constructed and thrown in the house eg multiple drill holes for each cupboard door handle as they kept getting it wrong, handles too big so that only one door could open at a time, corner cupboards that you didn’t actually have access to without physically crawling inside (similar to what I currently have and is driving me mad) etc