Reclaiming the Rainbow
20th June 2010
It’s time to replace the egg in the basket. I don’t know whether I’ll need it again. Perhaps not. Perhaps. Maybe. If nature thinks so. If I can make myself think so. Possibly if I can work out how to outwit what appears to be a slightly temperamental thyroid. Lots of things. Never thought I would find myself on the wrong side of fertility worries and baby loss, that’s for sure. Not sure it counts anyway, if you’ve given birth 5 times.
My lovely brother-in-law made me a Freddie chick under a rainbow and I’ve added him to the header. I think he looks beautiful – but then, I would. I’m his mummy.
I never thought much about Freddie’s ‘Maybe Twin’. I do now sometimes, when I see rainbows like this; one easy to see, one hidden in the background. When I was little I had a very strong conviction that I was missing a twin, that I should have had a brother to look after me. Maybe it’s better, if Freddie was a twin, that they didn’t have to be apart. Bit hard on all of us though.
JustGiving – in memory of Freddie.
Posted in Freddie, Uncategorized | 
Tags: baby loss, child loss, grief, life after loss, losing a child, neonatal death
12 Responses to “Reclaiming the Rainbow”
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Lovely Freddie chick and hugs for the maybe twin stuff too, not easy.
That’s lovely – the Freddie chick under the rainbow.
I think its lovely Merry xx
lovely. And of course your worries about fertility still count, just because you’ve been successful before doesn’t devalue any worries about any hopes for next times
Yet more moving words Merry
) (((hugs)))
Understand the twin feeling…remember sitting in front of mirror on Mum’s dressing table, the sort that has 3 mirrors so you can see yourself from the side and had an overwhelming feeling that there was another “me”…not exactly like me but the other half of me.
Totally beautiful little chick
((hugs))
I love the little Freddie chick under the rainbow.
(And yeah it all still counts even after five children, hoping for you x)
It counts, whether you’ve had no children or a hundred….every one counts. (((xXx)))
lovley chick and rainbow. One of mine should have a been a twin (lost early on) and I’m a surviving twin (my twin was lost early on too).
take care
Amanda
Freddie chick is a real sweetie, don’t give up hope about another.
with hugs San xx
Oh, I love the Freddie chick too! It’s just right.
I agree with the others: of course it ‘counts’! Bless. It absolutely counts. {hugs} and well-wishing for you …
every baby and every loss (no matter how or at what gestation) counts.
we’re human and we’re doing the best we can – we can’t do more than that. hindsight is only helpful in forward motion.
i love your beautiful Freddie chick and his rainbow.
the double rainbow is bittersweet. in the book (sorry, i’m a bookaholic) ‘having twins’ by elizabeth noble, she writes a lot about twin loss in utero.
x