This is something new: I don’t want April to end. For the first time in such a long, long time, April has something in it that i cannot bear to let go.
April 2010. The month our son Freddie was born and lived and died. A son. A boy. A brother.
I don’t have a picture to show off the little boy who should be 4 weeks old today.
I have one of the first time we held him and that has to be enough.
I have one of the brightest, most glorious rainbow arching across the sky behind the house today, one i might have held him up to see; his first rainbow.
But i do not have our baby.
I just don’t have the words. But i am very grateful to a friend who wrote this beautiful post for us and for our son. Sometimes it snows in April. It is so much gentler and more dignified than i feel right now.