Stop all the Clocks

Just a short note to let you know that Freddie died peacefully in our arms, in the gentlest, kindest way possible, this morning. I think he had done all he came to do, including opening his eyes and making noises for a while before suddenly becoming a far more poorly baby. I am as sure as i can be that something was terribly wrong with him throughout my pregnancy and as the odds began to stack up against him, he just became overwhelmed. I’m grateful to nature that in the last 48 hours he had no fits at all and showed us his eyes and a very beautiful little soul.

At some point i will write up his story – but for now i want to just be with my girls and grieve for our son and brother. We will miss him – and all he could have been – dreadfully.

For nearly 20 years i have hated April, the daffodils and cherry blossom, because of the memory of another boy who was gone too soon. For 4 years it has reminded me of the worst few weeks of my life. If i can do anything, i can fill my garden with daffodils and let Freddie be something precious that April brought us.

Night night, Freddie.

  142 comments for “Stop all the Clocks

  1. Tech
    April 13, 2010 at 2:48 pm

    Oh Merry. Wrapping you all in more love than you can imagine. xxxx

  2. April 13, 2010 at 2:50 pm

    so so sorry for the loss of your lovely boy i will keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers

  3. Jax
    April 13, 2010 at 2:50 pm

    So sorry. Sending love from all of us.

  4. Naomi
    April 13, 2010 at 2:51 pm

    Oh Merry …so sorry …. XXX

  5. April 13, 2010 at 2:54 pm

    I can’t even begin to think what you must be going through, take care and be kind to yourself. My heart is saddend by your loss.

  6. Emma
    April 13, 2010 at 2:58 pm

    Merry, I’m sure there are no words that could heal and take away the pain for you all right now, but please know that Freddie’s soul will be with you always and you are all in our thoughts.
    Much love xxxxx

  7. Shoshana
    April 13, 2010 at 2:59 pm

    Oh, Merry! I’m so sad with you! Thinking of you all. xx

  8. Elaine
    April 13, 2010 at 2:59 pm

    No words I can say will even begin to help so all I can say is how sorry I am to hear this and that I will keep you all in my love and prayers.

  9. Ruth
    April 13, 2010 at 3:00 pm

    Oh Merry I am gutted for you all. I am so sorry. Nothing i can say. Huge hugs to you all. xxx

  10. April 13, 2010 at 3:05 pm

    I’m so sorry for you loss. Thinking of you and your precious baby Freddie. xx

  11. Jill H
    April 13, 2010 at 3:15 pm

    Merry I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Will keep you and your family in my thoughts.
    Love and hugs. xxxxx

  12. greer
    April 13, 2010 at 3:17 pm

    Sleep tight Freddie x

  13. Jackie T
    April 13, 2010 at 3:20 pm

    My thoughts are with you and the girls. May you find strength in your grief. xx

  14. fiona
    April 13, 2010 at 3:26 pm

    So sorry. Much love.
    xx

  15. Tracy M
    April 13, 2010 at 3:27 pm

    Merry, m’love, I am so sorry. You’re all in my thoughts. XXXXXXX

  16. Sam
    April 13, 2010 at 3:29 pm

    Oh so sad, I’m very sorry for your loss.

  17. Katy
    April 13, 2010 at 3:32 pm

    Goodbye little Freddie – so much wanted, so much loved and so very special.

    Lots of love to you, Max and the girls, Merry, from all of us.

  18. Ann
    April 13, 2010 at 3:34 pm

    Speechless with sadness for you all xx

  19. Sharan
    April 13, 2010 at 3:37 pm

    So sorry for your families loss of your special son and your daughters brother. Thinking of you all…

  20. Jenny
    April 13, 2010 at 3:39 pm

    Heartbroken for you all. ((((( )))) xx

  21. Lindsey
    April 13, 2010 at 3:41 pm

    Our thoughts and love are with you all.

  22. Frankie
    April 13, 2010 at 3:45 pm

    Merry, I post here very very rarely, though I do follow your news. I’m so sorry for your loss. May Freddie become the light in your April.
    Love to you all. xxx

  23. Carol
    April 13, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    So very sorry for you all Merry. Lost for words, but thinking of you xxx

  24. Tracey
    April 13, 2010 at 4:06 pm

    Merry, I am so sorry to hear of your family’s loss of a very special baby boy, love and sympathy XXX

  25. Claire
    April 13, 2010 at 4:11 pm

    Sleep tight beautiful little boy xx

  26. Jenny Crossingham
    April 13, 2010 at 4:13 pm

    I am holding all of you in my thoughts and prayers. xxx

  27. Kath
    April 13, 2010 at 4:33 pm

    Oh Merry, so sorry to hear of your loss, thinking of and praying for you all .xxx

  28. Amanda
    April 13, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    I’m so sorry. Thinking of you all. xx

  29. April 13, 2010 at 4:36 pm

    Oh, darling. Oh, I am so, very, sorry. I am devastated for you all. I have walked this path both as a (little girl) sister and as a mother and yes, how wonderful that you were able to look into his eyes, to see his wee soul, to hold him in your arms.

    I am so sorry. You all are in my prayers.

  30. Veronica
    April 13, 2010 at 4:40 pm

    Much love, you are all in my thoughts xx

  31. Louise
    April 13, 2010 at 4:49 pm

    I am so very sorry Merry and family. My deepest love to you all xxxxx

  32. April 13, 2010 at 4:52 pm

    I am so so sorry, my thoughts are with you!

  33. April 13, 2010 at 5:01 pm

    Oh I really and truly don’t know what to say. I am so very very sorry Merry and all of your beautiful family, words are so meaningless right now but I wanted to pass on my thoughts to all of you. You are very much in my thoughts right now. Lots of love xxx

  34. Mieke
    April 13, 2010 at 5:07 pm

    Oh no! So so sorry for your loss, Merry. Love to all the family, you’ll be in my thoughts and prayers.

  35. April 13, 2010 at 5:13 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear this – sending my love and thoughts out to you all xxx

  36. Sue
    April 13, 2010 at 5:16 pm

    Such sad news. Thinking of you all.xx

  37. Su
    April 13, 2010 at 5:23 pm

    So very sorry to read about and share your pain and sorrow. Much love and strength to you all xxx

  38. Lisa A
    April 13, 2010 at 5:25 pm

    Merry, I am so very sorry to hear this news. Wishing you and your family much love and peace. Thinking of you all X X

  39. Georgina
    April 13, 2010 at 5:35 pm

    So sorry. Thinking of you and your family. x

  40. Annette
    April 13, 2010 at 5:39 pm

    Fly high little Freddie. A little angel gone too soon. You won’t be forgotten.
    All our love and gentle ((hugs)) to you all.
    Annette & the girls xxxxxxx

  41. Cath ( fluff )
    April 13, 2010 at 5:51 pm

    I’m so so sorry to hear your sad news, thinking of you all at this very sad time xx

  42. Jen
    April 13, 2010 at 6:08 pm

    Such sad news, I’m so sorry. Thinking of you all. xx

  43. Leandra
    April 13, 2010 at 6:15 pm

    My words cannot explain the sorrow I feel at your loss. My heart goes out to you, Max and the girls at this time.
    Much love x

  44. Tammy
    April 13, 2010 at 6:33 pm

    So very very sorry to hear your sad news. My heart goes out to you all. (((((hugs))))

  45. Ceri
    April 13, 2010 at 6:37 pm

    I’m so sorry Merry. You and yours are in my thoughts. Much love to all of you xxx

  46. Jacqui
    April 13, 2010 at 6:59 pm

    Oh Merry. I’m so sorry to hear this news. My thoughts are with you, Max and the girls.

  47. Judy
    April 13, 2010 at 7:33 pm

    Dearest lovely Merry
    I am so sorry for your loss, I can’t even begin to imagine how you all must be feeling, my heart goes to all of you, I hope you know that I am here if you need me or i can do anything.
    Love
    Judy and Jamie, Fin and Miles.
    xxxxxxx

  48. April 13, 2010 at 7:33 pm

    My heart just broke for you and your family. I am so sorry to hear this news. You are in our thoughts. ((Hugs))

  49. Nadine Lewis
    April 13, 2010 at 7:53 pm

    Just absolutely gutted for you. Be strong. Lots of love to you all. xxx

  50. Hannah
    April 13, 2010 at 8:19 pm

    Merry, devastated for you all. Thoughts and prayers are with you xxxx

  51. Khadijah
    April 13, 2010 at 8:34 pm

    I’m so sad to hear he’s died Merry, for all of you. I pray the special love Freddie brought to you will make the grief somehow more bearable. xxxxxxx

  52. TracyW
    April 13, 2010 at 8:37 pm

    Oh Merry, so very sorry to hear of your loss. Thinking of you all.

  53. Michelle
    April 13, 2010 at 8:43 pm

    So sorry to hear about your Freddie’s passing, here for such a short time, but surrounded by so much love.
    Thinking about you all and hoping that knowing everyone is sending love helps in some small way.

  54. Emma
    April 13, 2010 at 8:46 pm

    You have all been in my thoughts and prayers over the week, I am so sorry to hear that Freddie has passed away, I pray you all find a way through this especially sad time. xxx

  55. Debbie
    April 13, 2010 at 8:49 pm

    Oh Merry, I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am. I will be praying for you all in the next weeks and months. Don’t forget to look after yourself through the grief,
    Debbie

  56. HelenHaricot
    April 13, 2010 at 9:09 pm

    deeply sorry for the loss of little freddie. thinking of all your family and wishing you strength to get through the loss together. xx

  57. lynn
    April 13, 2010 at 9:10 pm

    So very sorry for all of you. Freddie will always be at the very centre of all your lives. Sending you much love. How inadequate words are at a time like this.

  58. SallyM
    April 13, 2010 at 9:11 pm

    Much love and hugs and sending you much strength for the following days, weeks and months xxx

  59. Nigel
    April 13, 2010 at 9:13 pm

    Merry, Max and girls, Sending much love and peace for now and the days weeks and months ahead. Wishing I could do something!! The chidlren also send their love. Take good care of your selves and of each other. xx

  60. April 13, 2010 at 9:20 pm

    In tears here Merry, I’m so sorry :o(

  61. JanetF
    April 13, 2010 at 9:35 pm

    So sorry to hear about little Freddie. Sending lots of love.

    Janet, Phil and Meri xxxx

  62. LizaM
    April 13, 2010 at 9:37 pm

    Oh Merry I’m so very sorry for your loss. Thinking of you all x

  63. Amanda
    April 13, 2010 at 9:47 pm

    Dearest Merry and all your family, I am so very sorry for your loss, sending you hugs and love and prayers at this sad time. Thinking of you all xxxxxxxxxxx

  64. Beth
    April 13, 2010 at 9:53 pm

    so sorry to read such sad news, I wish I knew words that could help at a time like this. Thinking of you all x

  65. Rachel Farrow
    April 13, 2010 at 10:17 pm

    Dearest Merry

    I am so sorry for your loss, sending you love and prayers.

    Rachel

  66. Daisy Broadbelt
    April 13, 2010 at 10:21 pm

    All our love, vibes and prayers are with you and your family. Too sad for words.:-(

    Daisy, Zach and Kane xxx

  67. Zoe
    April 13, 2010 at 10:23 pm

    So very sorry for the loss of little Freddie. Sending you, Max and the girls wishes of peace, love and strength xx

  68. Jayne
    April 13, 2010 at 10:36 pm

    So sorry to hear of your sad loss. Your family are in my thoughts and prayers

  69. SarahE
    April 13, 2010 at 10:46 pm

    In tears here too. So very sorry to read this tonight. Sending you all our love and prayers for this time and the future. I’m sure you will treasure the memories of the time you had with Freddie.
    Roy, Sarah, Molly and Frances
    x

  70. Naomi
    April 13, 2010 at 11:05 pm

    Merry – I am so, so sorry for the loss of Freddie. I have lit a candle here in memory of him tonight and will be keeping you all in my thoughts in the coming days.

    Naomi (long term reader, never before commenter and mum to a little girl who also died to soon)

  71. Alexia
    April 13, 2010 at 11:17 pm

    Our love and prayers are with you all. So so sad. x x x x x x x

  72. Jenny
    April 13, 2010 at 11:17 pm

    OH no, I’m so very sorry to hear this and am holding you both in my thoughts and of course your lovely girls too. words cant express the sadness I think we all feel for you and with you
    With lots and lots of love
    Jenny, Chloe, Sophie and Connor

  73. Allie
    April 13, 2010 at 11:38 pm

    What awful news. So, so sorry to hear this, Merry. Thinking of you. x

  74. Alexia
    April 13, 2010 at 11:42 pm

    So so Sad. Our love and prayers are with you all x x x x x x x

  75. Jenny
    April 13, 2010 at 11:46 pm

    So Sorry. Thinking of you all. X

  76. April 13, 2010 at 11:56 pm

    words just aren’t enough sweetheart, what a precious little boy. Sending you lots of love and thinking about you xxxx

  77. Jenni
    April 13, 2010 at 11:59 pm

    Thinking about you all so much, love and prayers. Jenni xxx

  78. Emma
    April 14, 2010 at 12:01 am

    :( So very sorry for your loss. Thinking of you all. xxxx

  79. April 14, 2010 at 12:08 am

    Ah, pauv’ petit.

    Do fill your garden with daffodils and other spring things.

    Oh, Freddie. Oh, Merry, Max and girls.

    That Auden poem is so fitting when we have someone gone from us and taken from us.

  80. Raquel
    April 14, 2010 at 12:19 am

    Dear Merry, sending love and condolences from my family to yours. We are so sorry for your loss and are keeping you close in our hearts. x

  81. mamacrow
    April 14, 2010 at 12:48 am

    Oh Merry, so so sorry. Love to you all, from us all xx

  82. April 14, 2010 at 1:35 am

    Goodnight precious little man, sleep tight and God Bless. xx

    So, so sad for you all ~ but so happy too that Freddie brought a blessing to April :D

    Many many hugs and much much love.
    Cx

  83. Tracy
    April 14, 2010 at 2:26 am

    I am so sorry for your loss Merry, hugs to you all, sleep peacefully Freddie xx

  84. Nikki Scott
    April 14, 2010 at 7:54 am

    Merry and family, I am so sorry. I have been a long time reader who has not posted here before, but just wanted to join everybody in letting you know that from across the country we are sending out love to you, your family and for your precious little boy. I hope that even through your sorrow you will be able to find peace.

  85. April 14, 2010 at 8:13 am

    Came back and read this a couple of times trying to find the right thing to say but just can’t. Just so sorry and sad for you and Max and the girls. Thinking of you – Sarah, Tim, Rosie and April x

  86. jackie
    April 14, 2010 at 8:21 am

    So sorry to read this Merry, thinking of you all.

  87. kelly
    April 14, 2010 at 9:06 am

    I am so sorry to hear of your news xx may your angels be with you today and all days and the everything that freddie came from surround him with light, love and peace. Much love and thoughts to you and your little ones xx

  88. Jennie
    April 14, 2010 at 9:10 am

    Lots of love to all the family. Thinking of you all and let me know if you need anything x

  89. Nicki
    April 14, 2010 at 9:23 am

    So sorry, Merry. Sending you all lots of love x

  90. Alison
    April 14, 2010 at 9:26 am

    I am so very sorry for your loss.
    Be kind to yourself during this difficult time.
    xx

  91. Debbie Ellard
    April 14, 2010 at 9:38 am

    So sorry. xx

  92. camille
    April 14, 2010 at 9:47 am

    so sorry for your loss, our thoughts are with you x x

  93. sue
    April 14, 2010 at 10:07 am

    I’m so, so sorry Merry. Offering you all hugs and prayers and love XX

  94. Joe, Lou and girls
    April 14, 2010 at 10:59 am

    Merry – we’re so desperately sorry for your tragic loss. Our love to you, Max and the girls at this terrible time, and you’re all constantly in our thoughts. We are so sad we never got to meet Freddie – he looked such a beautiful little boy. Hope to see you all soon. All our love, Lou, Joe, Izzie and Millie xxxxxxxx

  95. bridd
    April 14, 2010 at 11:25 am

    So sorry to hear of your tragic loss. Much love to all of you

  96. April 14, 2010 at 11:33 am

    So so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you all at this difficult time xxxxxx

  97. Michaela
    April 14, 2010 at 11:37 am

    So sorry to hear this news. Another family thinking of you all and wishing you much love at this time. Michaela, Mike, Jacob, Jodie & Sam xxxxxxx

  98. April 14, 2010 at 11:43 am

    Merry and family, I am so sorry for your loss.

  99. April 14, 2010 at 12:35 pm

    just crap. so so sorry

  100. Mink
    April 14, 2010 at 2:11 pm

    Merry I’m so sorry… it’s been a long time since I ‘spoke’ to you on Muddlepuddle but I’ve kept an eye on your blog every now and again to see how you were all doing. It’s heartbreaking what has happened to Freddie. There are no words that can help but please know we are all thinking of you, Max and the girls.
    Mink & family

  101. Hannah
    April 14, 2010 at 2:57 pm

    oh Merry I am so sorry

    you are in our thoughts

    xx

  102. April 14, 2010 at 4:10 pm

    Thank you everyone. And Mink, i have thought of you so much over these last few years and this week especially. I don’t know how you managed to do it all again – i can’t even begin to imagine doing so now. I think my belief in things going right is well and truly broken.

  103. April 14, 2010 at 4:18 pm

    Oh no :-(

    I’m so, so sorry, Merry and family.

    I just left a comment on the previous post without looking to see if there were any more first. The comment still stands though – what a beautiful picture, and you are all very, very much in my thoughts and prayers now. I’m sure everyone who reads this blog is weeping with you all.

    Look after each other, and lots of love.

  104. Alex
    April 14, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    Im a long time reader but have never commented. Im so so sorry. Ill be thinking of you.

    Alex

  105. Sara Sengenberger
    April 14, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    Merry, Im very sorry to hear of the loss of your little boy. I will be thinking of you and your family.

    Warmest wishes,
    Sara

  106. Andy J
    April 14, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    Sending you all love and hugs in this difficult time. Ours thoughts are with you. xx

  107. Alison
    April 14, 2010 at 5:36 pm

    So terribly sad to hear of your loss. No amount of words can heal the pain that you are all feeling at this moment but hopefully time will allow you to remember him without too much sorrow.

  108. Vicky
    April 14, 2010 at 6:02 pm

    I don’t know you except through your blog so I hope you don’t mind but I am holding you and and your family in my thoughts and prayers today and hope that you are able to find some peace somewhere today and again in all the days that follow.

  109. Jane
    April 14, 2010 at 6:31 pm

    So sad, words just aren’t enough …

  110. April 14, 2010 at 7:05 pm

    I can’t stop thinking about you all and trying to imagine what you are going through. I wish I could find the right words to say just how sorry I am to hear about your terrible loss. xx

  111. Lorena
    April 14, 2010 at 8:15 pm

    I just had to add my name so you know how many people are there with you through this. We met once or twice some years ago, I’m local to you, I want to offer help but don’t know what. Do ask anyone and everyone for help if you need it though.

  112. Christelle
    April 14, 2010 at 8:33 pm

    Merry,

    You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. No words could express a sorrow so profound and we will be thinking of you and your family in days to come. May you find the strength and love amongst each other to carry on and live the life you would have loved to share with him..

  113. Helen WF
    April 14, 2010 at 8:47 pm

    So very sorry for your loss. You are all in our thoughts, sending lots of love xx

  114. Nikki
    April 14, 2010 at 8:54 pm

    I’m so sorry to read of your family’s loss; wishing you and your husband and your beautiful girls much time and space to grieve for your little boy.

  115. Deb
    April 14, 2010 at 9:01 pm

    Merry and family,
    You don’t know me (I have lurked on and off ever since I first started to home ed and you started Muddle Puddle) but I just wanted to say how very sorry I am about the loss of Freddie.

    My thoughts are with you all xxx

  116. Anne
    April 14, 2010 at 9:53 pm

    My prayers are with you and your family, with your little boy. No words feel right, just a silent prayer for Freddie.

  117. Sarah, Dino & Mimi
    April 14, 2010 at 9:56 pm

    I’ve not been reading, drifted away a bit. But stumbled across your blog again to find this.

    I’m sitting here with tears on my cheeks for you all. So so sorry to hear your news and sending cyber ((hugs))

  118. April 14, 2010 at 10:01 pm

    Thinking of you all, and sending you as much love and light as a I can. xxxxxxx

  119. April 14, 2010 at 11:39 pm

    so very very sorry :-( xxxx

  120. Rachel
    April 15, 2010 at 9:40 am

    Merry. Im another reader who you dont know but I would just like to say how sorry I am to read about Freddie. Im thinking about you and your family.

  121. April 15, 2010 at 10:08 am

    Love love love to you all. So very sorry. xxxxx

  122. Anne-Marie
    April 15, 2010 at 12:29 pm

    So, so sad to hear this. Thinking of you all.

  123. Susannah
    April 15, 2010 at 4:49 pm

    I’m so very sorry to hear about Freddie. The photographs of all of you together are beautiful, and I’m so sorry that he couldn’t be with you for longer. Take care of each other.

  124. April 15, 2010 at 9:35 pm

    Dear Merry

    So sorry to hear about your sad and terrible news. So glad that you got a few precious moments with your special baby.

    It will make me hug my four a little bit tighter tonight when I tuck them in.

    Sending you my love,

    Kelly

  125. lisa
    April 15, 2010 at 10:17 pm

    Can’t find the words.Sending love to you all.
    Lisa and girls

  126. April 16, 2010 at 2:17 am

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss
    and thinking of you and your family during this difficult time Xxx

  127. April 16, 2010 at 7:53 am

    I am so very sad to hear of your loss of precious Freddie. I doubt you remember me, but I remember you from way back on various groups, and am saddened to hear of your loss.
    I too lost my fifth baby suddenly shortly after birth last July and if you ever need a friendly ear, I’m here.
    Much love to all of you. x

  128. April 16, 2010 at 11:04 am

    I am so saddened to hear of your loss. Beautiful Freddie. Wish I could make it better for you all.

    Sending much love and hugs.

    Min & Annie xxx

  129. Ira
    April 16, 2010 at 11:57 am

    I am so so sorry for your loss!

  130. Jacqui
    April 16, 2010 at 1:20 pm

    I am so, so sorry – it is heartbreaking news

  131. April 16, 2010 at 4:22 pm

    Here from Jeanette’s blog. I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your precious boy. I love what you have said about April’s new meaning to you. Wishing for peace and comfort to find you soon. xx

  132. April 16, 2010 at 7:08 pm

    Merry, I don’t think you know me. I was part of the Yahoo vbac/hbac e-group until October ’08, when our daughter Emma died during labour. I remember you from there. I visited Jeanette’s blog today and clinked on the link that brought me here. I was so saddened when I recognised that you were the mother Jeanette mentioned.

    I am so very, very sorry that your beautiful boy, Freddie, is not in your arms. I wish gentle days for you as you grieve.

  133. April 16, 2010 at 8:59 pm

    You don’t know me either. I have lurked on your blog, on and off, for about a year. I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my prayers.

  134. Julie
    April 17, 2010 at 4:44 pm

    I am another long time reader but have never commented before. You have inspired so many people with your blog and I’m so sad to hear about your beautiful baby boy. Take time to grieve and hold your family close. Sleep tight Freddie x

  135. sandra haynes
    April 17, 2010 at 6:42 pm

    I’ve read your blog over the years, and as I’m now HE again checked in on you a few weeks ago and was pleased to read of your pregnancy. I’m so very sorry to hear about the death of your precious baby boy, I cannot begin to imagine the pain you and your family must be experiencing.
    Sandra

  136. April 17, 2010 at 9:54 pm

    oh i am so sorry to read this sad sad news. you will all survive and grow stronger and wiser, i am sure. thank you for sharing your photographs.

  137. April 18, 2010 at 11:47 am

    so very sad for you – he was very beautiful.

  138. Alix
    April 18, 2010 at 7:17 pm

    Merry – I am so very very sorry to hear this awful news. We send all our love to you and your gorgeous family. Night night little boy xxxx

  139. Sam B
    April 30, 2010 at 10:47 am

    Merry, i am so sorry to hear this news and my thoughts are with you and your family at this very sad time. I am sure that baby Freddie is playing with all of the sleeping angels now, my angel Joshua will look after him. xxxx

  140. Rosemary
    May 5, 2010 at 9:02 pm

    I am so, so, sorry to read that you have lost Freddie and send you all lots of love and sympathy. My Aprils are also overshadowed. Our first baby died in April a long time ago now and although it becomes less raw it doesn’t go away.

  141. Ella
    May 8, 2010 at 10:17 pm

    I am so terribly sorry that you lost your beautiful boy.

  142. EF x
    July 1, 2010 at 11:15 pm

    Really shocked and sorry to hear about Freddies death. Merry, I hope you are getting through somehow. Sending you lots of love. xxxx

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