Just a short note to let you know that Freddie died peacefully in our arms, in the gentlest, kindest way possible, this morning. I think he had done all he came to do, including opening his eyes and making noises for a while before suddenly becoming a far more poorly baby. I am as sure as i can be that something was terribly wrong with him throughout my pregnancy and as the odds began to stack up against him, he just became overwhelmed. I’m grateful to nature that in the last 48 hours he had no fits at all and showed us his eyes and a very beautiful little soul.
At some point i will write up his story – but for now i want to just be with my girls and grieve for our son and brother. We will miss him – and all he could have been – dreadfully.
For nearly 20 years i have hated April, the daffodils and cherry blossom, because of the memory of another boy who was gone too soon. For 4 years it has reminded me of the worst few weeks of my life. If i can do anything, i can fill my garden with daffodils and let Freddie be something precious that April brought us.
Night night, Freddie.