Answers on a Squawkbox please
Dear candidates,

Please read the following scenario and choose the appropriate response from the multiple choice answers below. Marks will be deducted for any males who attempt to stand up for the male in question.

** Child 1 goes to bed in (what for the sake of argument we shall call the) marital bed due to raging earache that causes her to sob most of the evening. Parent A choses to sleep in said bed with small girl due to having to go to work the next day while Parent B retires to Child 1’s bed (apologies to the Portico here) as she wishes to read for longer. Child 3 wakes around 2.30am, is inconsolable with snot, cold, itchy skin and ends up sleeping in Parent B’s arms in single bed, somewhat fretfully. Sometime later Parent B awakes again to hear wailing from (sic) marital bed and calls quietly for Child 1 to come in - earache has struck and she is instructed to wake daddy to get her medicine as Child 3 still in arms. Grunts ensue from said parent. Eventually Parent B is forced to get up, disentangling Child 3 to discover the matter. Parent A complains that he is a) cuddling Child 2 who has sleepwaked into his bed, slept next to a large patch of wee, Child 1 needs to wait for painkillers till morning and Parent B should (ahem) “Get Lost”

Please suggest an appropriate course of action for Parent A. Should he
a) Continue to lie next to large wet patch, cuddling deeply asleep inert child who could easily be moved while listening to wailing child for next 2 1/2 hours

or

b) Get up, sling cunningly-placed-near-bed quilted, plastic backed pad on wet patch, stick small child back in bed, take bigger child downstairs for medicine and then snuggle back up for her.

c) Leave wife to do all of above (b) so that in the intervening time fretful Child 3 wakes up, falls out of bed and wails for next 90 minutes while he sulks strops and wonder of wonders, manages to take himself to toilet without assistance of wife without whom all night time movement is apparently impossible.

Chris/Steve - i warn you - DO NOT attempt to stand up for him……